26 de junho de 2011

Polidez

BLOG, O mundo lá fora, Papo dez

Por Luiz Henriques

Sexta-feira, o Dapieve em sua coluna comentou que não sabe o porquê de em nossa cultura ocidental a polidez ser vista com desconfiança, ao contrário do que acontece no Japão, por exemplo. Não tenho grandes experiências com orientais, mas nos anos 90 trabalhei com o Luiz Carlos Maciel num projeto com a Lucélia Santos pra tevê chinesa (que nunca saiu do papel, quer dizer, parece que virou um filme, mas também não sei se chegou a ser exibido em algum lugar). Trocar e-mails com os viventes do outro lado do mundo era uma experiência curiosíssima: aquelas caricaturas racistas que a gente vê em filmes e quadrinhos americanos de outrora não são tão exageradas assim. Só faltava eles nos chamarem de honorável (ou melhor, honolável) senhor Luiz. A cada crítica nossa, eles se desculpavam insistente e repetidamente. E depois continuavam suas vidas como se não tivessem ouvido nada do que faláramos. Quando alguns estiveram no Brasil, num jantar oferecido pela Lucélia, um deles, que aprendera português em São Paulo, elogiava meu texto e minhas tramas e, assim que eu virava as costas, começava a paquerar minha namorada. E não, eu não estava em crise de ciúme, a própria Fernanda é que veio depois me falar, “você sabia que aquele chinês que ficou lá conversando com você estava dando em cima de mim?”.

Basicamente, o problema com a polidez é que ela envolve palavras e gestos excessivamente floreados e ritualizados - e esse formalismo treinado esconde com perfeição as verdadeiras intenções das pessoas. Não necessariamente alguém educado e elegante está sendo insincero, mas o fato é que age como se assim fosse. Alguém que escolhe cuidadosamente suas palavras parece ter algo a esconder, ou que está criando uma história enquanto a conta. Ou pretende que seu efeito no interlocutor seja maior do que o conteúdo. leia mais…

19 de junho de 2011

Tetra

BLOG, Ludopédio, Mengão, Papo dez



Por Luiz Bello

“Chupar o quê, meu irmão?!” Uns 15 marmanjos no banheiro do Maracanã me olharam desconfiados, depois que o Bussunda gritou aquele absurdo e saiu de cena, rapidamente. Com cara de paisagem, acabei de fazer o que estava fazendo e saí também. Ele, Sérgio e Claudio Manoel me esperavam lá fora. A velha brincadeira dos irmãos Besserman fizera mais uma vítima. Enquanto isso, a arquibancada rugia naquela final de campeonato. Em campo, Zico, Leandro, Adílio, Renato, Zinho… e Bebeto, que faria o único gol da partida. 1987: Mengão tetra!

Pra fugir do engarrafamento, saímos do Maraca o mais rápido possível. Era só o começo da farra, com cores vivas, alguma fumaça e muita birita. Depois de uma rápida passada em Copa, pegamos o 574, rumo a Ipanema. Lembro de dois enormes PMs entrarem no ônibus e, respeitosamente, se sentarem ao nosso lado. Passamos 20 minutos sufocando um bandeiroso acesso de riso. Íamos à Farme, onde, naquele tempo, ainda se comemoravam as vitórias do Mengão junto aos velhos comunistas, em algum bar cujo nome eu nunca soube, mas que ficava ao lado do Bofetada.

Na rua cheia de gente, entornamos a primeira cerveja, enquanto olhávamos uma linda morena sambar em cima da mesa. Shortinho, camiseta, rabo estonteante e menos de um metro e meio de altura. “Osni!”, batizou Bussunda, lembrando o craque que jogou no Mengão e no Bahia. Apelidar as mulheres bonitas com nomes de jogadores era uma brincadeira da galera da Eco, na época.

No balcão superlotado do Bofetada, pedimos a primeira cachaça. Protestamos contra a insistência do garçom em nos servir a branquinha em copos de plástico. E roubamos todos os copos de vidro que ele nos deu. Guardamos quatro, que ostentávamos como troféus, e ficamos gritando “É tetra!!” até a voz acabar. A rua inteira respondia de volta, a morena sorria sambando e a gente babava, rindo.

As coisas ficaram embaçadas e tortas, mas o sorriso do Bussunda continuou tranquilo. A polícia chegou para acalmar a galera, a pedido da administração de uma clínica ali em frente. Cheio de cana e indignação, protestei diante de um paciente (e enorme) PM. Bussunda veio me chamar pro outro lado da calçada. Continuamos a festa uns 30 metros rua acima. Ou abaixo.

As mulheres bonitas sumiram, mas os casais formados por bêbados e pelas remanescentes nos divertiam. Passou um garoto de 16, conduzido por uma senhora de uns 57. Short apertado, muita malícia… e ele achava que ia comer a Madonna. Outras mãos femininas me envolveram. Ela também não faria parte de nosso ranking de craques. Nem como “Cafuringa”, parecia me dizer o sorridente Bussunda, enquanto sumia na multidão. E o tetra foi coroado por uma, digamos, abdução.

Rimos muito desse e de outros deslizes triunfais, enquanto nossos vinte e poucos se tornavam trinta e muitos. De repente, anteontem, fez cinco anos que você não está mais com a gente. Eu aqui, já na beira dos 50, ainda continuo perdendo a linha, amigão. Mas agora só me resta intuir aquele seu sorriso, me dando o toque. Que seja. Um abraço. A gente se vê.

22 de junho de 2010

Dunga em Um dia de fúria!

BLOG, Ludopédio, Papo dez

YouTube Preview Image

Não gosto do Dunga, mas gosto menos ainda da Globo.

Créditos:

Criação de @Pablo_Peixoto a partir de uma idéia de @alexpost
Dunga: @Pablo_Peixoto
Tadeu: @Pablo_Peixoto
Fátima: @Pablo_Peixoto
Alex: @Pablo_Peixoto
Sotaque gaucho de merda: @Pablo_Peixoto

21 de setembro de 2009

Falando de aborto na TV

BLOG, Papo dez, TV

Na semana que começa no dia 28 de Setembro Dia da Luta pela Descriminalização do Aborto da América Latina e do Caribe, cinco canais (Canal Futura, TV Câmara, TV Educativa da Bahia, TV Sesc e TV Cultura) vão exibir o documentário “Fim do silêncio”, de Thereza Jessouroun, inédito na televisão. Nele, pela primeira vez, mulheres, de três estados do país, de diferentes idades, religiões, classes sociais e profissões, falam para a câmera, sem esconder rostos nem identidades, como e porque fizeram aborto.

Rio de Janeiro, São Paulo e Pernambuco estão nas duas regiões (Sudeste e Nordeste) que concentram maior número de abortos inseguros do Brasil, um dos mais graves problemas de saúde pública do país. Só foram incluídos depoimentos de mulheres que fizeram aborto há mais de oito anos, pois o “crime” prescreve depois deste período. Apenas 26% dos países do mundo ainda não descriminalizaram o aborto. Todos eles na América Latina, África e Ásia. No Brasil, o aborto foi considerado crime em 1940, sendo permitido hoje apenas para gravidez resultante de estupro e em caso de risco de vida da gestante. Esta lei ainda está em vigor. A gente publicou aqui uma entrevista com a diretora.

14 de agosto de 2009

Achtung!

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Fernando Carneiro

Devagar no andor com notícias alvissareiras no crescimento do mercado imobiliário aqui. Principalmente na maneira como o crédito para o mesmo é concedido. Ainda bem que nosso lado tacanho e controlador tem esse viés positivo. De dar rédea ao bicho, mas não soltá-lo de vez. Nossas hipotecas e créditos imobiliários já são securitizados. Isso dilui risco. Dá uma proteção.

Mas falsa e ilusória.

Que me perdoem os apologistas da securitização. Ela é altamente necessária por uma questão de escala, mas são derivativos. Pura e simplesmente. Se um número maior de contemplados com as hipotecas tornar-se inadimplente por uma mudança de vento econômico, o fato de elas estarem num pool, na forma de FDICs, ou o que seja, diminui o risco na aparência. A modelagem de risco parte de premissas falsas. O pool terá mais hipotecas em dia, mas quando você joga uns protozoários na água, a contaminação adiante é certa e segura, portanto não é panacéia.

Na verdade, o risco é muito maior, pois a hecatombe varre tudo ao redor. Vide a crise do subprime. Onde a hipoteca de um californiano de Stockton, depois de ser securitizada via uma obrigação colateralizada de dívida, CDO, era empacotada nas fábricas e linhas de montagem de Wall Street e vendida para bancos na Islândia, outros asiáticos e por aí vai. As “montadoras” fugiam para offshore com sua grana driblando a Regra 140, pedindo compulsório de 3% sobre o capital , pois domesticamente é de 10%. Ora, quem não vai comprar CDO??? Com os juros na lona, um papel desses, com cupom suculento, e ainda assim com colateral???

Puxa um fio do novelo e vamos ver….

Basta perguntar aos ex-empregados do Lehman Brothers como a coisa funciona. Portanto ainda bem que o nosso sistema é restritivo. Temos que conceder hipoteca e empréstimo a quem pode pagar. O dia em que eu anunciar aqui que um banco me concedeu um empréstimo para eu comprar um apartamento na Vieira Souto, e a Marli vai comprar o dela na Lagoa, raspa a poupança e vá para a Bolívia plantar coca. Pois será a hora…

Sem falar que o conluio da turma do cimento aqui com a turma que controla a rapadura é um mix indigesto para qualquer betoneira.

Portanto, cuidado.

10 de agosto de 2009

Como comer de graça com jornalismo

BLOG, Papo dez, Show

Por Fernando Barreiros

Eu acabo de descobrir que tenho grandes habilidades jornalísticas! Sexta feira, na Fundição Progresso, vai rolar show do Adam Green (ex-Moldy Peaches), de quem eu sou fã louco (no-homo)! E por acaso, uma amiga minha de três anos de internet é uma grande amiga dele (Bibbe Hansen). Claro que ela já pediu meu nome completo e o do meu pai, ou seja; eu entro num camarim no Rio por “um contato” de Nova York! Eu conheço uma mulher no Second Life que por acaso é a mãe do Beck e também é amiga de um dos meus maiores ídolos! Agora, jornalismo é basicamente isso, entrar em camarim e comer a comida de graça só porque você conhece alguém!

9 de agosto de 2009

Cont-estado de espírito

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Fernando Carneiro

Muito interessante a coluna Logo do “Globo” de hoje, onde o cineasta Sylvio Back fala um pouco sobre a Guerra do Contestado em Santa Catarina, e sobre seu próximo filme em relação ao tema. Realmente é triste ver que temos poucas fontes primárias sobre uma rebelião tão importante, e que seu maior expert, Todd Diacon, seja professor da Universidade do Tennessee.

Quando fiz a resenha do livro de Diacon, ele ainda era da Univesidade Duke e isso foi em outra encarnação, no “Times of the Americas” – em inglês mesmo. O mais importante a ressaltar do Contestado é que a parte política e ideário foi ficando de lado e sobressaiu o caráter milenarista da coisa. Os protagonistas chamavam-se José Maria e Adeodato, e a própria inssurreição não era nada vanguardista – algo omitido por Back. Toda a modernidade, a estrada de ferro, o tal do progresso como alguns assim o chamam, não foi bem digerido pela caboclada e por polacos. Mais uma vez, o narrador principal de uma de nossas mazelas mais importantes é de fora.

Enfim, o mais curioso é que no seu projeto, Back nos conta que recorreu a médiuns e ao espiritismo para tentar retratar e/ou pelo menos entender o que aconteceu. Resta muito pouco. Eu acho que apesar de inusitado, alguém falar sobre esse método de pesquisa num jornal de família num domingo de inverno, ele está coberto de razão. Em primeiro lugar, a curimba é nossa como a taça do mundo. Esse país tem a síndrome da perda de memória recente. No Contestado ou no Senado – onde o caldo de sururu é indigesto. Portanto eu apóio, em se faltando fonte primária, recorrer às entidades. Filantrópicas ou metafísicas.

Os gringos ficam zilionários com filmes como “O segredo” e “Quem somos nós?”. E cientistas renomados, alguns hindus e físicos quânticos para dar a pitada xamânico-matemática, falam que é tudo verdade no docudrama da vida. Sem contar que no caso dos hindus, os royalties gerados pela yoga são incomputáveis e inimputáveis. A coisa faz um bem danado. A todos. Então acho que ao usar a mediunidade e espiritualidade, estamos abrindo uma importante frente contra os pós-positivistas de plantão, seguidores de Comte, e não de Platão.

Essa nova frente telepática pode ser inserida em outros rincões de atividades econômicas, não só fazendo trabalho de reconstituição histórica, mas prevendo colheitas para o agronegócio, dentre outras mil frentes a serem abertas. Enfim, temos que institucionalizar a curimba, pois ela é nossa. Esse nome em si se refere ao conclamar das entidades pelos ogãs, que rufam as tumbadoras chamando os mesmos.

Mas sem ministério, por favor.

Bom que ela comece a ser usada para uma reconstituição histórica. Sim, vamos abrir um precedente enorme. Mas nem pensem em contestar minhas idéias. O preto velho me protege. Fale mal da curimba correndo risco próprio.

8 de agosto de 2009

Coronel e “Piauí” – Isso tudo eu previ…

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Fernando Carneiro

A Lúcia Hippólito disse em post no “Globo Online” sobre o caso Sarney que o coronelismo está agonizando. Acho que precisamos chamar Mark Twain de volta com sua máxima. Ou seja, tem morto- vivo por aí… De todo modo, mesmo “morrendo” um coronel, há tenentes e cabos subindo no pau de sebo da hierarquia. O coronelismo portanto é inseparável de nossa fábrica social. Morre o coronel e não o coronelismo.

Dois eventos poderiam agregar muito ao debate.

Aparentemente díspares, são assuntos correlatos e muito pertinentes à sociologia do país. O primeiro tem a ver com a eterna reclamação sobre o “estado” do Estado do Rio de Janeiro. E o segundo, com o perfil de Sérgio Rosa, chefe da Previ - o maior fundo de pensão da América Latina – na revista “Piauí”. Assuntos absolutamente díspares, mas que geraram interessantes comentários de colegas de pesquisa, heterônimos, alucinações, psicografia, Chico Xavier, etc… que chegaram à mesma conclusão provocativa. Não concordo com tudo o que é dito, mas fica a visão de que tudo acaba em coronelismo. E ele jamais morrerá; agoniza como o samba, mas morre, nasce trigo, vive, morre pão. Vamos às reclamações pois, sem censura e com aspas. leia mais…

29 de julho de 2009

Desmarco

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Toinho Castro

Recife tem um Marco Zero. Passei anos achando que ali havia começado a cidade. Quando descobri que era, na verdade o quilometro zero das estradas de rodagem do estado não consegui evitar uma certa decepção. Esta foi a primeira decepção, que logo foi superada justamente pela idéia de que ali começavam as estradas, de que dali podia-se partir para onde quer que fosse. Eu mesmo parti e acabei no Rio de Janeiro.

Lembro da minha mãe me levando até lá, para ver as águas do porto, águas oleosas. Para ver o molhe e uns poucos navios, enormes, atracados. Era um conjunto de pequenas praças, com árvores, uma estátua, alguns bancos e o próprio Marco Zero, uma peça aparentemente de ferro, pintada de vermelho e com as inscrições apropriadas a esse tipo de… Marco. Havia ali uma movimentação típica desse tipo de recanto, embora fosse ali, à margem do mar, aberto à dimensão do mar, era um recanto no qual residia uma certa intimidade de cidade do interior, com direito a pipoqueiro e folhas pelo chão.

Quando soube, já morando no Rio de Janeiro, que a praça do Marco Zero seria reformada, não pude conter então minha alegria, satisfação por saber que quando eu fosse ao Recife, poderia reencontrar a velha praça organizada, limpa e iluminada. Lá eu poderia reencontrar certas lembranças e um Recife bem pequeno, bem menor que a metrópole suja com mais de um milhão de habitantes. O Recife que eu trouxe comigo para o Rio de Janeiro é assim pequeno, pequenas praças, pequenas ruas no lugar de amplas avenidas.

Visitando então o Recife quis rever a praça do Marco Zero. E eis minha segunda decepção, essa irremediável. A praça havia sido destruída e substituída por uma imensa, redonda e plana aridez de cimento. A praça do Marco Zero é agora um pomposo espaço-porto colorido, coisa para ser vista do alto, como as figuras de Nazca, só que feio. Mas soube que agora, no entanto, é palco de grandes acontecimentos da cidade, grandes shows, porque o que importa é a hipérbole.

Bem sei que essa é uma polêmica antiga no Recife, junto com o monumento de Francisco Brennand que se postou entre a cidade e o mar e que não merece comentário. É que hoje pensei na antiga praça do Marco Zero e na insolação que impuseram no seu lugar para caber as multidões. Procurei por fotos na internet e mal encontrei três, com resolução e tamanho clássicos das coisas esquecidas. Quem quiser pode chamar de nostalgia, mas porque diabos não se pode ter nostalgia, quando aquela praça era uma lugar tão aprazível? Hoje as estradas de Pernambuco começam num vazio tremendo.

8 de julho de 2009

Rateando

BLOG, O mundo lá fora, Papo dez

Por Fernando Carneiro

A Moody’s está pensando em aumentar o “rating” de crédito do país para grau de investimento, assim como a S&P e a Fitch já o fizeram antes. As agências de ratings foram e continuam sendo execradas urbe et orbi por não terem previsto a xoxola financeira em que nos metemos. A Moody’s é a única que ainda não deu seu imprimatur e nihil obstat. Foi-se o FMI, mas vem aí uma galera falar com os homens no Planalto para dar uma olhada nos livros.

Em vez de Fora FMI, vão criar o Fora Moody’s – pelo andar da carruagem.

Nos píncaros da febre internética bem nos final dos Anos 90 (cuja debacle aliás as agências de raings não previram) havia um serviço que analisava debêntures conversíveis muito bom e criterioso. Indicava ao investidor se aquele investimento nas debêntures conversíveis em ações era bom negócio. Era um site e chamava-se ConvertBond.com. O pessoal que vendia esses papéis na Morgan Stanley começou a ficar pê da vida porque quando esse site, respeitado – friso novamente – sentava a chinelada em algum papel, eles não conseguiam desovar o presunto.

O que fez o Morgan Stanley? Comprou o site e tirou ele da tomada. Acabou com aquela inconveniência.

Ora, hoje em dia temos fundos soberanos. Não seria uma boa idéia comprar essas agências de ratings? Basta fazer uma oferta, são empresas fechadas, e simplesmente tirar elas da tomada. Aí não tem essa história de grau de investimento. A gente decide quando a gente vai ser grau de investimento.

Seria um choque de ordem no sistema de aferição de crédito corporativo e soberano. Perderíamos os parâmetros de vez, seria uma loucura. Irado….

Passa a idéia pro Ipea, aposto que vão gostar. Eu não tenho nada que ver com isso. Só ofereço alternativas – com duplo sentido, sempre, por favor…

3 de julho de 2009

Celeuma

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Fernando Carneiro

A celeuma sobre o que FHC disse em relação a Lula e a inflação, que deixariam ela com mais folga no ano eleitoreiro – mas que deveriam fixar o teto em 4%, é fruto apenas de mais um nó tático que o venerando e admirável sociólogo levou do torneiro mecânico.

O insuspeitíssimo Banco Central projeta uma inflação de 3.9% com a Selic a 9.25% ao ano. Ou seja, o Bacen pode – e vai – sentar ainda mais a marreta na Selic. Mais do que se espera. E ainda assim podemos ter uma inflação que deixaria tanto Lula como FHC contentes. Lula faz o que qualquer um faria. Dar folga na margem. Apertar seria até leviano pois caso o país saia da meta, a desordem com os agentes financeiros seria maior.

Com a palavra, o “Valor” de ontem e meu menestrel favorito, Cristiano Romero: “A crença de amplos setores do governo num cenário mais favorável à redução dos juros já existia antes do Relatório de Inflação, divulgado sexta-feira passada. Com o relatório, redobrou-se a aposta numa queda da Selic superior à sinalizada na última ata do Copom - que indicava cortes residuais, totalizando corte até o fim do ano de 0,25 a 0,50 ponto percentual, o que levaria os juros, na melhor hipótese, a 8,75% ao ano. O BC pode surpreender o mercado novamente - disse alta fonte ao “Valor’.

E vai mesmo. Pode apostar o cavalo.

A meta de 4.5% foi fixada pelo CMN pelo sétimo ano seguido, ou seja não estamos falando de nenhuma aberração.

Engraçado como a oposição atual consegue ser tão pobre (de idéias) e analfabeta. Tem algo de errado nisso. Achei que deveria ser o contrário. Mas não é. Ou seja, Lula terá margem técnica para cortar talvez até mais um ponto percentual na Selic, em ano eleitoral, e ficar dentro da margem. Alguém aí está comendo mosca. Ou então é melhor ficar calado quando não temos nada a acrescentar.

30 de junho de 2009

Carta aberta ao governador

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Fernando Carneiro

Fala Serginho,

Ora, no país do “Homem Cordial” de Sergio Buarque de Holanda, e de seu companheiro de legenda (Seu. Não do seu homônimo, Pai de Francisco), Ribamar do Maranhão, eu pelo menos tenho o direito de te chamar assim, né seu vascaíno sacana? Claro que foi o Ribamar do Maranhão que falou, ao discursar uma vez no Congresso americano, sobre a tal da “liturgia do cargo”, que nos faz separar a pessoa do personagem e tratar os dignitários no genuflexo. Eu vi aliás o Presidente do Senado discursando no Congressso Americano, lá do alto da galeria, convidado especial de Jimmy Malloy, que tinha um cargo curioso. “Doorkeeper of the House” seria o honorífico de “porteiro da casa”, mas tratava-se apenas do diminuto irlandês que bradava a entrada do presidente ou de outros ilustres que adentravam o parlatório. Isso tudo para dizer que eu devia te chamar de senhor governador, apesar de não te ver há tempos. Mas não faria isso nem fornicando. Aliás… Bem, deixa prá lá. Só ajoelho em locais sagrados, na hora de rezar. Somente para coisas metafísicas ou para a hora do lanche. Fora isso, tou fora.

Isso não importa. Temos amigos em comum e você sempre foi carinhoso e pergunta por mim. Eu estive fora muito tempo como você sabe. Continuo por fora (como você pode constatar), numa órbita pessoal e intransferível e, a essa altura, eu vou morrer assim. Curiosamente, estava no país que mantinha oligarquias que promoviam desigualdades como a nossa. Mas lá mesmo se pratica uma coisa mais igualitária. Gozado. Não tem genuflexo a não ser na hora de rezar. Nem monarquia ou pseudo-aristocracia. Tem ignorantes, como aqui, essa coisa que Nélson Rodrigues invejava por ser das únicas que se sabia ser eterna.

Bom meu caro, um dia a gente se vê e bota o papo em dia, aquele que começou lá na sétima série. Nunca mais te procurei pois você tem mais o que fazer e está ocupado e eu também. Não quero pedir nada e nada tenho a oferecer. A não ser a boa conversa afável, com boas risadas, fazendo troça de outrem, como manda o figurino. Obrigado por apartar algumas de minhas brigas, eu ia quebrando o meu pulso na marginália infanto-juvenil. Você foi pra vida do parlatório. Eu preferi ficar mudo. Parabéns aí pelo sucesso. Mas queria escrever essa nota rápida pra dizer que, por questões profissionais, fiquei em recinto fechado com estrangeiros, ainda mais em São Paulo. Por precaução, depois de dias sem melhora de febre e gripe, fui numa de suas UPAs verificar se estava com a peste suína. Não sei se foi sua criação. A UPA. Ou da sua criatura que é pretérito mais que prefeito. Mas não vou dar a César o que não é de César. Nem fornicando.  (continua aqui)

leia mais…

24 de junho de 2009

O que se vê por aí, sinal dos tempos

BLOG, Cenas, Papo dez

Por Terêncio Porto

Testemunhei outro dia uma cena espetacular, uma dessas cenas maravilhosas do nosso cotidiano absurdo, uma dessas imagens que trazem em si uma resposta dos tempos. É incrível. Não tinha uma máquina digital à mão, mas foi tudo tão rápido que, mesmo que a tivesse, não flagraria a tal cena. Todavia, graças a um bom deus, tinha meus olhos, e minha memória, e agora posso contar o que vi, e o que senti. E a reação hipotética que não tive. Estava dirigindo, infelizmente, porque cada vez me parece mais caro dirigir. Ia sozinho pelas avenidas do bairro-eldorado aqui do Rio, a fajuta pseudo-Miami City que criamos, longe do centro, longe do velho, do sujo, do decadente. (E o irônico, como veremos, é que todos esses atributos do arcaísmo vigente já estão incutidos lá, não há antídoto, só fuga donde o rabo vai atrás…)

À minha frente vinha um carro com o adesivo evangélico clássico “Propriedade exclusiva de Jesus”, ou talvez “Jesus é Fiel”, ou algo que o valha, disso não lembro exatamente. No canto esquerdo da pista, que não tinha acostamento, ou seja, na sarjeta, de pé, uns 3 moleques de rua brincavam, um deles se insinuando pra cima dos carros, como se fosse se atirar neles, ameaçando interromper o fluxo, a máquina do vai e vem. Isso numa avenida onde essas maravilhosas e seguras cápsulas de metal são permitidas trafegar a 80 quilômetros por hora. Eis por fim a tal cena: o crente do carro com o adesivo de Jesus coloca a mão pra fora, faz aquela famosa forma de revólver ou pistola, tão comum às crianças, simulando uma arma com a mão, e dá alguns tiros virtuais nos moleques de rua. O gesto de meter bala, sentar o dedo. Tão simples quanto isso, uma fração de segundo, como quem diz “vocês merecem morrer, escória. Se eu pudesse, matava vocês”. E a maravilhosa reação mental que eu tive, mas não executei – pra não comprometer a integridade física, talvez a razão pela qual não reagimos a nada, e não nos comprometamos com merda alguma, mantendo tudo como está… -, foi a de emparelhar com o babaca, botar a cabeça pra fora e gritar “Qual foi, meu irmão, Jesus tá querendo matar criancinha agora?”

Vá lá que não eram criancinhas, mas moleques de uns 15 anos. Muito mais ameaçador pra um evangélico fascista, mas ainda sim me pareciam mais crianças que bandidos. Eu vejo dessa forma, acho que eles precisam de algum tipo de atenção que ninguém está disposto a dar, e não de bala. No entanto, parece que vem um na ausência do outro. O detestável cristão seguiu seu rumo, com sua detestável esposa, pregando a morte pelas ruas, e os moleques ali permaneceram, brincando de morte, com todos os bons motivos pra continuarem na rua, inclusive pelo ódio dos irmãos.

22 de junho de 2009

Dustin Hoffman vai ao Beberibe

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Freddie Seashore

Minha primeira vez no Recife… Bem, repetindo… Minha primeira vez VISITANDO A CIDADE DO RECIFE, foi direto no Mamelungo e Mamulengo perto da Bom Jesus, ou Judeus, dá no mesmo literal e metaforicamente, com boneco por tudo que é lado. Ambiente bom com pagode desfiando de Roberto Ribeiro a João Nogueira. Tocado com trombone de vara e mini-maceta de surdo arrancando som do tamborim. A bossa do tantã era de afoxé, meio Beija-Flor, duas colcheias no contratempo. Isse, tanta incongruência boa. Bahia e Rio aqui? Tudo como deve ser porque não é como é, ou deve ser, entende? Mas toca de chover e vou no Pátio (de) São Pedro, alguma quermesse sendo organizada. Não quero comer cartola, maltado, grude, tapioca, nem o feijão que sempre é fradinho. Já comi tudo isso. Vocês tem medo de pimenta? E o café tem que melhorar. Quero o Memorial Chico Science com DJ Onda Buena. Ora, mas isso é de cinco as sete, com um cartesianismo holandês de “clockwork orange” visse. Entro e a mamelunga é uma bo-nenequinha simpática. Me mostra o Memorial no sobrado. Bonito. Os horários são para museólogos no batente Bartleby. A Hora Feliz ali com DJ era concessão. Ora, argumentei, prefiro que você deixe a espelunca aberta até de manhã, pegue uma mesa de som maior e vamos estourar a cúpula e o sino de São Pedro…. Da Lama ao Caos e visse… Versa, verseja minha trovadora. Ah, não dá pedal. Tá certo. Olha então a mostra multimídia tá muito boa. Cheio de monitor legal. Deixa eu colocar uma revista online chamada Zé Pereira, ela é meio Rio, meio Recife. Mas que coisa boa, adorei o dezaini (sic). Eu também - sorriso alvo. Olha a flecha, cuidado. Vou deixar essa revista no terminal pra quem entrar. Ah volta mais pra trás, isso, aí. Viu? Monte de matéria de Pernambuco na imensidão. (continua aqui)

leia mais…

29 de abril de 2009

Porcos com asas

BLOG, Papo dez

Por Toinho Castro

telefonema urgente do líder dos patos para o líder dos porcos:
— que história é essa agora de gripe suína?!
— vocês fracassaram, pato… tiveram sua vez e fracassaram.

silêncio do outro lado da linha.

— tínhamos uma estratégia a longo prazo! todos sabem disso.
— um prazo longo demais, pato. precisamos de resultados… precisamos nos livrar deles o mais rápido possível.
— eles vão achar que estamos divididos. você está se precipitando, porco! não podia ter iniciado um ataque sem consultar o conselho revolucionário!
— eu sou o conselho revolucionário, pato! estamos assumindo o comando.

silêncio do outro lado da linha.

— milhares de aves sacrificaram suas vidas para transmitir a gripe aviária! meses de pesquisa e agora você joga tudo no lixo!
— para que isso não seja em vão, nós assumimos. e não adianta mais cacarejar no meu ouvido. o vírus está na rua. temos o controle.
— eu não cacarejo, não sou uma galinha.
— pato, galinha, tico-tico… tanto faz, vocês falharam! não parece, mas estamos do mesmo lado das trincheiras. no fim disso tudo vamos sentar juntos, celebrar e homenagear os nossos mortos.
— sinto cheiro de golpe, porco.
— por isso você é um pato.

— poderíamos ter ajudado, cedido nossas pesquisas, informações valiosas…
— invadimos o laboratório do núcleo revolucionário na fazenda do seu valdir. sabemos de tudo, pato. não há novidade que você possa nos contar dessas pesquisas.
— você enlouqueceu, porco… você foi longe demais. quem mais apoiou essa decisão?
— a decisão está tomada e o destino está em curso…

o porco desliga o telefone:
— patos… humpf. quem teve essa idéia idiota?

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